I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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