Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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