Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
