they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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