So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
