he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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