That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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