trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize