do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
