That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
my shit smells like andre
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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