dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
