I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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