just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
