Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
