I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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