hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
