just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
