I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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