he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
