so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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