1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
wow bdsm is so cute
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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