I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
