I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
