i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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