There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize