we have officially lost it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize