the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize