omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
