If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize