well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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