Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
