So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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