He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
