her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
