Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
