I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
