Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
