she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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