i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
