just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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