We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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