no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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