I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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