bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
