I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
