her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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