dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
