Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
