I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
