Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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