I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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