that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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