my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
