FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize