you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
