Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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