so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize