I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Randomize
