You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize