They should really pass out barf bags in church
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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