How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize
