made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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