I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
