so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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