Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
