For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
it hurts more in the daytime
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
