So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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